Homeschooling, Household Order, and True Religion

Ken Auer

Years ago, as I began to realize the huge responsibility in training my children, I began to explore the possibility of homeschooling.  The reality was that I was beginning to see that the public schools (as an institution) had no interest in producing godly people, and I didn't want to pay a private school that much money to do it.  As I began to explore homeschooling and examine the Scriptures more closely, I began to realize that there was so much more than an "educational choice" that I was making, and God began to show me how far we have fallen from His design.

Little by little (God is the most patient teacher I've ever had), He began to unfold for me the purpose He had for me as the head of my home, and that it was a lot bigger than just raising up godly children.  As I've experienced the large struggle to let Him renew my mind, I've found that an even bigger struggle is the implementation details of His design while living not only in the culture of 21st century USA, but the 21st century church which has often forgotten what true religion is:

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.
But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
    (James 1:22-27, NASB)

Well, a lot of us started homeschooling to keep ourselves, or at least our children, "unstained by the world".  Certainly, it was one of the biggest motivators for me to begin considering it seriously a dozen years ago.  That is one of the great reasons to do so, but it can be a "reactive" reason.  But, homeschooling isn't "pure and undefiled religion".  It is certainly an environment where one may have far less opportunity to be stained, but it doesn't solve the problem of a sinful heart any more than the man-made rules of the Pharisees, or even God's law itself (before the Pharisees got to it) cleanses our hearts.

But even if we believe we have been successful in using homeschooling as a tool to keep ourselves and/or our children "unstained by the world",  James tells us that "pure and undefiled religion" manifests itself in another component: "to visit orphans and widows in their distress".  So, what does that have to do with homeschooling?

Well, the answer you might hear is that homeschoolers have "more time to do volunteer service".  Perhaps they can volunteer to help orphans or widows through some non-profit organization.  Hmmm... perhaps they can.  How many non-profits are set up to do that?  And, of those that are, how many are set up to do so in a biblical way?  Rather than try to answer those questions here, let me take the time to expound on the biblical way.

Many homeschoolers have put a stake in the Bible at the passage in Deuteronomy that says:

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
           Deut 6:4-9 (NASB, emphasis added)


But do we realize the context of the passage?

After an unfaithful generation paid for their unfaithfulness with forty years wandering through the desert as they died off, Moses was speaking to the men of Israel... the sons of the unfaithful generation.

Before I go further, let me answer the objections of those who would say that he wasn't just speaking to the men.  You are correct, he wasn't "just" speaking to the men.  They were gathered there with their wives and children (unlike many modern church gatherings where the children are separated from their parents and even their other siblings).  However, the main audience for Moses' address was men.  It wasn't to be kept from the women and children... in fact the women and children were there to offer their husbands, brothers, and fathers accountability (see Deut 29:10-12, 31:11-13).  But the charge was to men as heads of their homes.  How can I make such a bold assertion?

Actually, the text constantly proves this rather simple assertion and suggesting otherwise is truly the bold assertion.  From the retelling of the Ten Commandments in Deuteronomy 5  ("You shall not covet your neighbors wife") to the "you" in the original Hebrew (the single masculine pronoun version) that appears so many times in Deuteronomy 6 and most of the rest of Deuteronomy, men are the main audience.  The charges are given to men as heads of their households to successively train up the future generations:

"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you [note: single, masculine pronoun], that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.
Deut 6:1-2 (NASB)

This awesome privilege and responsibility of men is reiterated in the New Testament:

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
    Eph 6:4 (NASB)


Throughout the scriptures, we see two primary relationships emphasized over and over: the father/son relationship, and the man/wife relationship.  Does that mean that women (and their relationships) are unimportant?  They are of utmost importance..  In fact, one of the reasons for the emphasis on the father/son and man/wife relationships are for the protection and preservation of "the weaker vessel".  Women are, by God's design, in a more vulnerable position because they are not in a position of authority.  Of course they are also "weaker" due to some of their physical differences which are also due to God's wonderful design.  My brothers and I are just not designed to bear children no matter what those who would like us to live in an androgynous culture might say.  God designed men to be protectors of women and children.

Remembering that Deuteronomy is in the context of the wanderings of a generation who God called out, but who rejected Him, we see the giving of His law.  Again, His law does not save us (just as it did not save them), but it does show us (as it did them) ways that we are to be different from the world according to God's design.  In Numbers, just preceding Deuteronomy, we see God's instruction about many things as an unfaithful generation dies out to be replaced by a faithful generation about to go into the Promised Land where God wants them to be a light to the rest of the nations whose ways are very different.

God tells the Israelites that the land was to be divided according to their fathers' clans and that this land was to be the path through which God would give them ability to provide for their families and the generations that followed.  He reiterates the male headship throughout, but in Numbers 27:1-11 we see that God allows the inheritance to be administered to daughters when there are no sons.  But, this does not indicate that God is removing his roles for men and women, but rather that God has designed men to be the protectors/providers (see Numbers 30 for the extent to which God holds men responsible) and, when they are not where they were designed to be, God still provides.  Deuteronomy is full of ways God instructs his people to provide for widows and fatherless.

In this fallen world, there are two ways we can reject the truth of God's design for men to the detriment of us all:
Men can lord their position over their wives (and women in general), making women property and slaves.
Men can ignore their position and allow their wives (and women in general) leave their God-designed roles, making women sexual objects and single-parent heads of homes trying to fill the roles of both fathers and mothers without a protector.

Many times in history, we've seen the former predominate.  Today, we see the latter more often.  As much as God hates the former, if you really want to get on God's bad side try the latter:

"A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation." (Ps 68:5)
"The LORD protects the strangers;He supports the fatherless and the widow,
But He thwarts the way of the wicked." (Ps 146:9)
"You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless." (Ex 22:22-24)
And that's the mild stuff.  If you really want to see what God thinks of those who neglect or oppress the widows and fatherless, look up those terms and zone in on the statements of judgment throughout the prophetical books of the Bible.

Woe to the man who does not take this seriously and abandons his family either physically (e.g. divorce) or spiritually (e.g. neglect of his leadership and protection while still present).  Even more woe to the man who takes advantage of those left unprotected.

So, what does this have to do with homeschooling?

Well, let's go back to Deuteronomy.  First, we must love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, and might.  Men should teach all of God's commandments and statutes in both word and deed (which must first be on our own hearts).  This means we should not only have a multi-generational view, but should be training our families, as the body of Christ, to reach out to those left unprotected.

If we look at the rest of the Old Testament we see a nation who was not faithful to God's commandments and statutes.  Many of those judgments I mentioned in the prophetical books were executed by God because the men of Israel oppressed the widows and fatherless and did not lead their families, adopting pagan (including Greek) education models instead of Hebrew (biblical) discipleship of their children.  As their hearts turned from God, it also turned away from their children... if they were not to provide the spiritual and physical protection and training in their primary relationships, they certainly were not going to offer it beyond their family.

At the close of the Old Testament (Malachi 4:6) and the opening of the New (Luke 1:17) the Lord says He will "turn the hearts of the fathers back to their children and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." (Luke 1:17, NASB).  

We are to love the Lord and disciple our families.  That does not just mean to teach them the words of the Lord, but the ways of the Lord.  It does not mean to renew our heart and mind and try not to get stained by the world until He zaps us to heaven.  But rather we are to pour His love out of our hearts in a way that blesses others...

"What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him?  If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?"
James 2:14-16 (NASB)

If you are anything like me, you recognize that keeping your children unstained by the world is difficult, even when you are homeschooling.  Now, think about a single parent out there - most likely a mom - whose spouse has either died or abandoned them.  How much harder must it be for them?  If they believe that they should homeschool their children (for many of the same reasons you do), how many more barriers are in their way.

Now, think about how much more freedom you have as a homeschooling family to help them.  You make your own schedule.  Now, what do you think God would have you put in that schedule?  One more academic class?  If so, perhaps it should be a class in creative thinking, focused on the following question: "How can we, as a family, practice true religion... to visit orphans and widows in their distress."

Note that "visit" here doesn't just mean to drop by and take up their time, but rather to meet their needs.  I've talked to several single-parent homeschoolers over the years and their "distress" includes:

Time - they have the same amount of time in a day as you do, but they are trying to fill the roles of both mom & dad
Money - they usually can't hire help either around the house or to participate in special opportunities... if their child has a propensity for music they may no be able to afford an instrument or lessons
Godly male influences - women can't be a role model for their sons... if there is a dad in the picture, he's most likely one that has at least partially abandoned them rather than faithfully fulfill his responsibility
Help - Who is going to fix that leaky faucet? paint the house?  take care of the children when mom is physically ill or just had one of those days
Role Models - Although I have met some godly single parents who have joy in the midst of their distress, I have yet to meet one that wants their children to think that a single parent family is the ideal.  They need to see whole families where a father is not only present, but is leading their families as the spiritual heads of their homes.  WARNING: This can also be difficult for single parents and their children.  Sometimes seeing whole families hurts because they are reminded of what they don't have.  Love them to the point that the love they receive overcomes the hurt they feel.
If you can't find a single-parent homeschooler to reach out to, it shouldn't be that hard to find a single parent.  According to the 2000 Census, 16% of all households are single parent households.  I wonder how many of them would love to homeschool, but just don't see a way to do it... and how many others, in their distress, get "stained by the world" looking for help.

Homeschoolers, you are doing so many things differently than the rest of the world... it's time to practice true religion.
 
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